Category Archives: homeschooling

The New Pet

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High up on my list of things to do this spring was to purchase a caterpillar-to-butterfly kit. Kylar loves anything to do with nature/animals, so this would be right up his alley and tie in with our homeschool science year on creepy crawling things.

But, my mind being where it was this spring/summer (Haiti), I didn’t actually get around to doing it. Then Kylar started reading about how to care for a butterfly and I felt even more guilty.

A few weeks ago we were going for a walk past a large field when Kylar spotted this little butterfly flying very low to the ground. It would flutter for a bit, then stop. He walked up to it, and it seemed to “know” him. It crawled onto his finger, and stayed there. He remembered all the things he had been reading about butterflies, so he was really excited about this little guy. He carried it home,
made him it’s own little L*go home,

Exploring the “grass” in his new home

put out cut up fruit for it to drink, and hand fed it sugar water from a Q-tip.

See it’s proboscis “sucking” up the sugar water

He was SO excited and proud of this butterfly. It was allowed to fly “freely” in his bedroom, he knew how to pick him up without damaging his wings, and delighted in seeing the butterfly gain strength after being fed.

Of course we know this story has a sad ending. Kylar had a scheduled sleepover with a friend and left butterfly in my care. I was instructed to make sure it had fresh sugar water on the Q-tip before bed and in the morning. I followed the instructions, but I never saw it again after Kylar left. For days Kylar wondered what could have happened to it until he found it dead in a closed drawer (insert sigh of relief that mom didn’t kill the butterfly! But so sad for him that he didn’t have more time with it). I’m so glad I didn’t decided to wait to take photos until later.

I love Kylar’s fascination with all things created. I love watching him grow into a young man who is exploring what it means to have his own personal relationship with the Creator.

Just really love, and really enjoy this kid.

What?!

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I’ve checked, and double checked… and unless I’m missing something, Giselle’s process actually had one step that went faster than expected. From what I know, Giselle’s file went to passport printing on Friday, and her passport was picked up today! I was expecting at least 3 full business days, so this was even quicker than I dreamed.

I don’t even know what to think right now. Honestly… I’m just in awe that we are finally done. 3 years, 3 months since we decided for sure that we would start the process to adopt again, and finally my new daughter will be in my arms.

Are we excited? Yes, but… it’s been so many years of disappointments that it is hard to let go of the guarding of the heart. But I can say that I almost feel like I can take a deep breath for the first time in years. I don’t think I will fully breath until she is in my arms, but a huge weight has been lifted off my chest.

I feel my mind switching from thinking of all these things I would still like to get done, to preparing for the trip, and her arrival home.

Her crib set up next to my side of the bed. I’ve never been good at sleeping with babies or kids, but I might have to just get used to it. I’m hoping this will be a good compromise though.

I’m going through toys to make sure their are doubles of Amara’s favourites (because of course those will be Giselle’s favourites as well more than likely). Diapers, wipes, toddler snacks, freezing Haitian rice and beans, etc… so fun

Just in case I was relaxing too much, my friend S decided it might be a good idea for us to do a Busy Bag swap, so I have some shopping, cutting and sorting to do for that.  I think it will pay off huge later in giving Amara something to do when I just need to have some time with Giselle.

And I need to sleep. It seems elusive right now, but it could be my last few days to have a good night’s sleep for who knows how long.

Wow, people. It’s actually happening!

What We Learned While Doing “Nothing”

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I am blessed to be a member of a few different Yahoo! groups that are geared toward unschooling-type homeschoolers. There has been a lot of discussion about when our kids seem to be doing ‘nothing’ all day, to take a closer look and SEE what they are actually learning.

The more I’m taking my hands off of Kylar’s education, the more I see what he is learning all on his own, with no coercion from me at all. Up until recently, it did seem like he was doing nothing all day… but today I had the chance to really watch him, and I was surprised at all that was taking place.

For my own sake, I have written it out below. For those of you who think I’m completely crazy for doing this type of lifestyle for my kids, you might want to take a quick look through the list and see what you think…


{Morning}

~watched Jelly Telly (Drama, Language Arts, Bible, Social Studies, Music)
~listened to Adventures in Odessey (Drama, Language Arts, Bible, Social Studies)
~read Astro Kids book (Robert Elmer) – the WHOLE book (96 pages), and…
~started the second book in the series (Language Arts)
~played with Amara which was a challenge because she was sick and grumpy (Social Studies)
~read the temperature, and looked at the weather forecast to let me know what was going to happen (Science)
~talked about his new pet frog dying, and how we could maybe do things differently the next time to keep the frog alive (bye-bye frog!) (Science, Problem Solving)

{Afternoon}
~ we played Uno, Sorry, (counting, addition, subtraction) and Blockus (sorting shapes, strategy, making patterns (Math, being a good sport) and ate popcorn (Health-we discussed how microwave popcorn is really not good for you)
~Made his own lunch (Health)
~decided to make a mural type picture of a medieval castle with dragons (drawing, layout, working together with me, he encouraged me often on my drawing skills), looked at books we had recently taken from the library to see what types of weapons they used, and started looking into some projects he can do from the books. (Art, Social Studies, Research, Language Arts)

{Evening}
~played with a tape measure (how far does it stretch? What is the highest number on the tape, the lowest number, how to make it snap back without snapping his hand, and how to make it make the loudest noise possible to upset his sister (o; ) (Math, Science, Manual Dexterity)
~I read aloud to him. It is an allegory about the Bible, but set in medieval times – he is always trying to figure out what part of the Bible they are talking about in each given chapter. They have discussion questions in the back which I really enjoy, but he doesn’t, so I’ve dropped them for now. (Bible, Language Arts, Problem Solving)
~ played lots in his room – which we are in the process of redecorating. Currently it is empty, but the carpet was just laid yesterday, so he can play in there again. He had blankets and an empty hamper, some pillows from my couch – and he stayed busy in there for at least a couple of hours playing who-knows-what? (Play Therapy, Strategy)
~played video games on miniclip, and won the highest score on a game. (Fun!)
~watched Dora with Amara and helps her with the correct answers and encourages her. (Christian Character)
~prayed for Amara to get better, and for a friend who is pregnant (that the baby will be ok). (Christian Character)
~Discovered one of my plants has bugs(gross!) (Science)

In all fairness, Amara had an INSANE nap today of over 5 hours, so we had lots of time to hang out together. But really, I only played games with him, read a bit to him, and spent some time drawing on his mural. Other than that, he was busy doing things on his own and didn’t seem to want/need my interference :)

Most importantly, my son is a happy, happy kid. I see him rediscovering his natural desire to explore and learn which is a huge blessing to me.

A Different Kind of School

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“It is, in fact, nothing short of a miracle that the modern methods of instruction have not yet entirely strangled the holy curiosity of inquiry; for this delicate little plant, aside from stimulation, stands mainly in need of freedom, without this it goes to wreck and ruin without fail. It is a very grave mistake to think that the enjoyment of seeing and searching can be promoted by means of coercion and a sense of duty. To the contrary, I believe that it would be possible to rob even a healthy beast of prey of its voraciousness if it were possible with the aid of a whip, to force the beast to devour continuously even when not hungry, especially if the food, handed out under such coercion, were to be selected accordingly.”
~Albert Einstein



Like everything else in life, homeschooling is a journey that has changed for us over time. September marks the beginning of our 5th year of homeschooling, and probably the one with the biggest changes for us.

In kindergarten, I had one little workbook that I would work on with Kylar on occasion when I felt like we should be doing “something”, or when he asked for it, but only as long as it was fun for him. Many people asked what our curriculum was, and I confidently told them “life”. I was a firm believer in letting kids be kids, and that play was the best teacher for him.

For some reason, my view point began to change to some degree when he hit grade 1. Even though I read books that promoted self-learning and delayed schooling, I felt outside pressure to do more school. I have always been on the more relaxed end of homeschooling – certainly never too concerned with “keeping up” to what the kids were doing in school, but I soon found myself feeling pressure to teach curriculum I had bought for Kylar even when he hated it. Soon we both hated school. He started out LOVING math, but HATED it by the end of the workbook. He loves anything Science, but we found Science only happened when we had the time (which was rare once Amara arrived on the scene). In short, Kylar’s 3rd year of homeschooling had me pulling my hair out, and Kylar extremely frustrated. School had become something that I was promoting by means of coercion and a sense of duty. Something had to change.

“It is a very grave mistake to think that the enjoyment of seeing and searching can be promoted by means of coercion and a sense of duty.”

It took me awhile to realize that maybe, just maybe, God might have some input into how we do school. Why hadn’t I thought of that before? I guess I just thought I knew what to do because I had read all the right books. How crazy is that?

Last year I started to really pray that God would show me how to do school with Kylar in a way that would bring our relationship closer, not just cause friction between us. And He said “Don’t ‘do school‘ Kylar is a very independant learning, so let him learn when and how he wants to”. I prayed some more, chose some good books for us to read, and then proceeded to “do school” again. What’s the definition of insanity? Oh yeah, continuing to do the same things expecting different results. That’s what I was doing = both of us going insane.

This spring I prayed some more about what school should look like for us, and I resolved to follow God’s leading and not direct Kylar’s learning this year. I changed our status with the school board, I haven’t bought any (very much) new curriculum (although I still intend to buy some good books supplemented with LOTS of trips to the library), and have notified Kylar that we wouldn’t officially be starting school this year. He looked very confused and tentatively happy. He actually requested that I buy a science curriculum (which I debated about a lot, but since I’m not really fond of science, I agreed). This morning I “caught” him playing a times table game on the computer, and he has had his head stuck in books for days since the recent trip to the library. With no coercion on my part.

I’m really not concerned (too much) about him not learning. I’m more concerned about ME – if I can stick with this plan and not start implementing “learning” things into our day. Do I trust God to know what is best for Kylar? I guess we’ll see when this year is done :)

Most of you probably already think I’m crazy and that I’m ruining my child’s life, but there are many, many homeschoolers who live this way and their children happily go to college at the end of their homeschool career. So, in my head I have resolved to think of Gr 4 as our “taking a break” year, and then just see where it takes us. If I’m way off base, and it doesn’t work for us (and I totally didn’t hear God right), he is young enough to recover.

One thing that will be a necessity for our year, is to study God’s Word. I have come to the conclusion that anything Kylar misses in his early learning years, can easily be learned later when he wants and/or needs to know it. But teaching him about God, teaching him godly character and how to study the Bible for himself – those are things better taught early rather than later. Kylar is a deep thinker, and already questions how we know that the God of the Bible is THE God – so apologetics will be in our study as well.

If you’ve made it this far into the post - thank you for sticking with me. I needed to get my thoughts down and remind myself what God has said and where I’m already tempted to fall short.

Music to a Mother’s Ears…

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“Mom, I know it’s 8:30, but can I please just finish reading my chapter?”

One of the biggest tricks to raising a reader is finding books that interest them. I love this benefit of schooling at home – that we can pick books that he enjoys, not just follow a curriculum.

We started out with Poke*mon – because thats what he was interested in. Ugh! It was so BORING to read about each attack a character had, where they were from… I thought I would go out of my mind. Soon we made a rule that if he wanted us to read Poke*mon to him, he had to read some to us.
And so it began.
Now he is caught up in a book about Vikings, he loves books about animals…and still Poke*mon.
At least we don’t have to read those to him anymore.
It’s one of my greatest joys to see him with his nose buried in a book.

Freedom, Liberty and Delight

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It’s the end of another busy day. Chasing after Amara, trying to homeschool while having some semblance of a social life, and doing my “homemaking” duties (which always seem to fall way behind). It has left me wondering (again) if I have what it takes to add another child to our family.

I’m lying in bed reading Oswald. Darren comes in and I read a portion to him.

“When you have a right-standing relationship with God, you have a life of freedom, liberty, and delight; you are God’s will. And all of your commonsense decisions are actually His will for you, unless you sense a feeling of restraint brought on by a check in your spirit.” Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest March 20

I look up at Darren and say “So how do we know if this feeling of restraint is just our fear, or when it is God?”

He looks at me with knowing eyes. “Are you talking about the adoption again?”

I nod.

“Tell me this” he says gently. “Would you feel it was right if we didn’t adopt?”

Immediately my spirit leaps within me with a resounding “NO”. No, it would not be right. How could I go ahead with updating my kitchen cabinets and new flooring in our living room – with the money originally reserved for a child who needs a family? The thought makes me want to vomit. No, everything inside of me knows that to not adopt would be…sin.

As if reading my mind, he quotes “Therefore, to one who knows the right thing to do and does not do it, to him it is sin.”(James 4:17)

I remember what God has whispered to my spirit so many times “I will give you grace for what you need when you need it. I won’t give you grace for another child before that child has even arrived, but it will be available
the moment he or she is in your arms.”

I feel relieved. I feel “freedom, liberty and delight”.

Not everyone is called to adopt. There are other ways of caring for the orphan, but we have been called to adopt.

Not everyone is called to homeschool. But when I consider sending Kylar to school, the same sense in my spirit, that strong “No” tells me that it is another case of James 4:17. For us, this is what is right, and to not do it would be sin.

My house might never get really clean.

My dishes will most assuredly barely make it into the dishwasher before you come for a visit (if I’m that lucky).

The beds might not get made.

But I’m willing to give up a life of perfection for the freedom, liberty and delight that is available to those who follow what they know to be right.

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Only another homeschooler will understand the excitement of a trying out a new curriculum :)


I just received a computer – based curriculum for Kylar’s Language Arts Program called Switched On Schoolhouse. I’m hoping that it will be a *little* bit more exciting for him than the workbooks he dislikes (and by dislikes I mean hates with an absolute passion, has a crying fit every time I pull out the books and and feigns illness whenever I actually dare make him sit down to do a page). Almost anything will be an improvement.

I’ll keep you posted as to how it goes.

Which reminds me, I also need to write a review on some make-up I bought thanks to an info-mercial (I know!!). I’ll do that as soon as I get this new LA program figured out.

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Recently, Kylar had to write an acrostic poem for an LA project. This is what he wrote:


SISTER
Skin beautiful, brown
I love you
So much
cuTe baby
Eyes, big and round
haiR, black and twistable

I guess I let him cheat a little bit, but it was so sweet he wanted to write a poem about her, I wasn’t about to get too picky!

Many people ask us how Kylar is doing with not being the only child anymore – especially now that Amara is so active and into everything. The answer is that he is doing great. Yes, there are days he wishes the attention could all be on him again, but he also readily admits he would be so sad if she wasn’t here.

Amara positively adores Kylar. Whenever she gets disciplined for something, she first calls for Kylar and runs to him for comfort. Then she’ll come back to us to make things right. When I drop him off at a friend’s, she calls for him all day. Kylar loves the attention, and is a wonderful big brother to her.

What Happens When…

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You “neglect” a child’s education.


I’ve written a few posts about the difficulties of homeschooling… this was one of the days when I’m so glad we do this. I have to admit I often shy away from science projects because of the mess, and the time to look through a book, decide on a project just to find I don’t have all the materials.


Today I told Kylar that there would be no video/computer games at all, so he had to actually get creative. We haven’t “done school” pretty much all month, but I think he learned more experimenting on his own this afternoon than I could have “taught” him in a week.

Days like this I actually believe it when educational books state that you can’t teach a child anything. They learn when they are ready.

A Natural Homeschool Mom I’m Not

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It’s not even the last week of July, and already I’m dreading this coming school year. I feel like I’m the one who is back to being school-aged, wishing, wishing that summer would never end.

So many homeschool writers would have you believe that homeschool is usually blissful – with eager children loving to learn all their wise, fun and creative mother has planned for them.

I’m not that mother.

Kylar is not that child.

Often when I meet someone new, and they discover I homeschool, the response I get is “I could never homeschool my child! She is way too stubborn and would refuse to learn anything from me. We would butt heads all the time.” I feel like saying “Guess what? That’s the kid I’m homeschooling!” It seems that instead of being an eager student, he starts off with a”it’s boring” attitude before we even start, and it’s just a battle from there on out. And granted, some things are boring. Some things are just not his interest but they still have to be done. And the things that are his interest, often aren’t mine (science), so it’s difficult for me to be motivated to be creative about teaching those things.

So why would God call us to be a homeschooled family? I feel that just parenting is adequately stretching me, teaching me to die to self, learning about serving… Isn’t that enough? Why would He add the often times high level of frustration, guilt and worry that homeschooling often brings? Why can’t I be a parent who lovingly sends K off on his merry way in the morning , enjoys quiet times during A’s naps, then greet him after his day of spending time with peers and a teacher who (ideally) loves her job and is wise, fun and creative? (insert whiny voice here)

As appealing as this often times sounds, God often drops little hints into my lap to show me life wouldn’t be that easy.

During our holidays, K had about 2 straight days where we really had no contact with him at all – he was strictly playing with his cousins. They are basically all good kids, so no bad influences, but what a change in my son! He was rude to us, defiant and annoyed by anything we might ask of him that he perceived as an intrusion on his fun (such as eating and sleeping!). Is that the kind of kid I could expect to come home after a day of interacting with his peers on a regular basis?

This spring, K and I were watering our newly planted garden. We could hear the squeals of children in the school yard at recess time. Our “school” was out for the summer, but I was curious.

me: “Do you ever wish it was you playing with those kids in the school yard?”
K: “No. I finish my work way before they do. Plus, it would break our relationship if I was gone all day.”

Recently he and I were arguing about something when he started crying “I feel like our relationship is breaking!”

Yesterday I was on the computer and he was newly home from VBS, when he emphatically said “Mom, I’m starving for your attention!”

Would sending him to school ruin his sensitivity and desire for connection with me? I’m not saying it works this way for all children, but for him I think it would. I can see his propensity for bonding with peers given the opportunity. Is the amount of “head butting” we do now anything compared to what it would be if he was peer-bonded? I don’t think so.

So it’s good to remind myself of this; God knows me, and God knows Kylar. God has called us to homeschool, and I need to trust that God knows best. I am the best teacher for him at this stage, and K is the best tool God has to teach me patience, perseverance and maybe even some creativity.

Remind me of this in September ok?